Mom + Wife + Career + Motivation = Balance (I Wish!)

Alright ladies, let's face it - you can try to have it all, but some days it's simply not going to happen. You're going to fail miserably and feel overwhelming guilt and regret. Other days, you'll feel incredibly blessed and happy. Those days usually start with a Starbucks and a full night sleep, in my experience.

This isn't my typical "advice" or "educational blog." Rather, this time I'm writing so you can get to know me a little better. 

Don't Ask Me.
I Don't Know How I Do It, Either.

In addition to being a Director of Marketing, Club VP of Public Relations at my local Toastmasters club, Inforum Breakfast Affinity Group Leader, I'm also a mom and wife. 

I can look back at photos and tell you I'm a great girlfriend, too, although I admit I haven't been out for a girls night in years. 

Driving out to see the fireworks was the first time I've been behind the wheel at night in months. I vaguely remember the days when my friends and I would be getting ready to go out at 9 pm thinking it was early. As I write this, it's 9:30 at night and another hour is lights out. 

(Okay, it's a weeknight, so it's really not that bad.)

(And if the baby sleeps through the night, that's a rush like no other!)

There's this whole concept of work-life balance out there. But I have to tell you, I don't think there's a balance that can be achieved. Some days, work has to win out and family falls to second priority (like the time I missed my son's field trip this year). Other days, family has to take priority and work will have to wait. (like when I'm bolting out of work by 5:15 to get home by dinnertime)

I think it's better to look at the situation this way than to imagine you can do it all, every day, consistently. Some days you will do it all and feel phenomenal. Other days, you'll feel that you're failing everyone - husband, kids, work, career, self. On those days, you'll inevitably spill your coffee or leave your travel mug at home, forget about a meeting and walk in unprepared, get a call from the school that your son is sick, and you'll be operating on maybe three hours of sleep due to baby being up all night congested with a head cold. Oh, and then you'll leave your expressed milk - all 14 oz of it - out all weekend and not realize it until Monday morning.

Joshua and Me in the Fraser Parade.
(Sponge Bob had heard that I'm a
good "juggler" and wanted to see)

On the whole, though, I admit that I do feel blessed. I have a solid marriage. A healthy family. A husband who has volunteered to be a stay-at-home-dad for our daughter's first year, and who now does all the laundry, all the grocery shopping, all the cooking on weeknights, all the homework with my son, and he enjoys it.  

Side note: it's not all idyllic and it's definitely not perfect. When I was getting ready to return to work after maternity leave, he and I had a conversation about who would do what. I was pumping while at work and would be nursing baby when I got home, and since he would be there, I assumed that he'd be taking over dinner duty. He replied that he would be home taking care of two kids, so how would he be able to cook? We ended that conversation with me crying and him agreeing that he would cook at least once a week. Okay, maybe twice and we'd do takeout until we figured out a system. 

Fast forward to today: I walked in the door and the house smells like dinner. The kind of smell that never you can't create yourself, but makes you fully appreciate that food has been prepared for you. My plate is waiting on the counter. Dishes are done. Living room looks like a toy store exploded, but both kids are happy and in good moods, and excited to see mommy. My little one runs into my arms and squeals with delight. My older son has to be ordered away from his Legos to say hi and give mommy a hug, however.

So for all the younger ladies out there who are just starting your career and family, my advice is:

1. See this movie, "I Don't Know How She Does It." Trailer here: http://youtu.be/bn_OrhwIidA. Warning: this movie was good, but I was also very anxious watching it. Especially the scene where she forgets to pick up her kid. 


2. Whenever possible, bring your kids to work for a short visit. This helps them understand what mommy does all day long, plus they can have some fun picking through your office and leaving notes for you to read during those really long work days. I have the luxury of bringing my kids to weekend events sometimes, too, like this past weekend when I was working at a parade.   


3. You can do it all, or as much or little as you want. If you want it all, you'll have to determine how you can make it happen, and get a really really good support system of relatives and sitters. 


4. If you're blessed with a husband who is a stay-at-home-dad, make sure you tell him frequently how much you appreciate him. I joke that my husband is the best wife ever imagined. He takes this as a compliment. And open your mind to the possibility that you might be the breadwinner, and that yes, he can learn how to cook!





Good news:
More workplaces are
mom-friendly these days.

5. Seek out the advice and support of fellow working moms. I can't tell you how many times I've asked women in my network for their advice on summer camps, getting baby to sleep through the night, summer vacations, birthday party ideas, and simply to get together over lunch or coffee so I can have some much needed "girlfriend" time that I don't yet permit myself on the weekends. 


6. If you're planning to have kids, seriously give thought to breastfeeding. A good book: "Nursing Mother, Working Mother." You'll find that breastfeeding will give you a connection to your baby that will help ease the separation anxiety (yours, not the baby... yet). 

And if all else fails, drink coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

Free Marketing Tip for Bakeries (Pi Day)

My day started with a tweetup, or rather, a #pieup at Grand Traverse Pie in Troy, Michigan. 

"Mmmm...pie on Pi day!" ~Brenda Meller

I met a half dozen other people (including  @DaveBenjamin @DaveMurr @kevin_mclogan @Urbane_Media and a few others), for pie and coffee to celebrate the day that is linked with my favorite baked good: pie. 


Today is March 14, or rather, 3.14.


You may remember Pi from high school geometry. The area of a circle is equal to Pi times the radius squared. If you need a refresher, check out the Pi wikipedia page. Or ask any 16-year old.


Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to read the Facebook post from Grand Traverse Pie a day beforehand, promoting their celebration of Pi / Pie day on 3.14 at 3:14 p.m. One of their franchises took this a step further and gave away free slices of pie at 3:14 p.m.! This was not the reason that I visited their location, however, as I've been planning this along with a few connections for weeks. 


Those who know me well know that my baked good of choice is pie. I'm not sure what it is. Probably the combination of crust and filling. I dunno. A crust can make or break the pie, though, that's for sure. And my mom baked some excellent homemade pies when I was growing up.


But anyway, I've been very involved in social media and networking since I began my job at Walsh College, and this is the third year in a row I've tried to participate in the #pieup on March 14. I've been successful two out of three years. 


While at the PieUp, I was discussing with others how March 14 is such an excellent opportunity for every pie bakery to take full advantage of the day as a marketing tactic. They can tap in to their social web followers and find people like me who appreciate the clever connection between "Pie" and "Pi." And they can find super connectors who (like me) will invite others to join them via Twitter (a "tweetup"), via a Facebook event page, or by rewarding their VIPs on Foursquare who check in for Pie on Pi day. (sidebar: I earned 8 points on my Pi day Foursquare checkin!)


I'm hoping that you're the owner or manager of a bakery reading this blog post. If you are, please consider promoting the heck out of Pi day next year. Here are some suggestions how to do this:

1. Make sure you designate March 14 as "Pie / Pi day" months in advance. Communicate this with your employees. 
2. Come up with a promotional offer. Maybe it's buy a whole pie, get a piece free, or buy a piece, get a piece free. The better the offer, the more likely you'll get picked up by your local media. The better the offer, the more likely you'll gain a LOT of new traffic that day, too. 
3. Promote the offer: add a mention in your sales receipt footers. Put a sticker on bakery boxes a month or so beforehand. Or print flyers and leave them on your counter by the registers. 
4. Post this on your social web community pages, including Facebook and Twitter. And LinkedIn and YouTube if you have pages there, but those pages are less important, in my opinion. You don't have a social web pages on those sites? Chances are, all of your employees are active in social media. Pick someone and give them the title of social media manager and ask them to help you with your presence on these sites. Yes, you can trust them. It will be okay...
5. Create an event page on Facebook. Invite your customers who are fans of your page to RSVP to the event. You can make it as specific as asking them to come to your store at 3:14p in the afternoon, or as broad as all day long. Have fun with it, and get those customers involved!
6. If you have regular customers who come in with their laptops and tweet, see if you can figure out if they participate in tweetups. Ask them if anyone is planning a tweetup on Pie / Pi day, or March 14. 
7. Create a YouTube video and tell your story about how your store is celebrating Pie / Pi day. Post it on your Facebook page. Tweet it. Make it amusing - that will help its passalong value. 
8. When people come into your store on March 14, greet them with "Happy Pie Day" and inform them of your special offer that day. Bonus points if your cashiers are super enthusiastic!
9. Take pictures of people who participate in your Pie / Pi day celebration. Post their pictures on your Facebook page. Tweet their photos.

Above all, have fun. People like visiting establishments where they are welcomed and celebrated. Not to mention places that sell delicious baked goods like pie. 

Happy Pi day to everyone! I celebrated with strawberry rhubarb and it was delicious. How about you?

Smile at the Tim Horton's Drive-Through Window

Monday morning on my way to work, I went to Tim Horton's at 15 Mile Road and Utica in Fraser to redeem a free latte that I won in their "Roll up the Rim to Win" sweepstakes over the weekend. 


At the drive-through window, the young man opened the window and I told him I won a free latte. He then yelled out "YAHOO! Congratulations!" in such an exuberant tone you would've thought I just won the lottery.


It was quite amusing and made me laugh out loud. I'm quite sure it was the single best drive-through experience I've ever had, and one that I'll always remember. Not to mention it helped Monday get off to a great start!


I'm not sure if he was being overly sarcastic, or if he was just an outgoing, cheerful guy. Either way, it made me smile and glad that I stopped in that day. 


This is the same Tim Horton's that I take my son to for an occasional "Donut Day" breakfast. The Friday morning tradition started when he was in daycare, and we've continued it even though he's now in elementary school. I'm explaining this to illustrate how I was already a loyal customer to this location. 


Now they've gone and won me over all over again!


They say you're more likely to tell your friends and family about a bad customer experience. Not me. I'm more likely to share the good news. After I post this blog, I'm going to share with my nearly 2,000 Twitter followers and over 400 Facebook friends. 


Oh, and by the way, I rolled the rim on that coffee cup after I finished my latte, and guess what? Yes, I've won another free latte. :)

Thoughts on Google+

"That's me."
~Brenda Meller

A friend asked me this question today, and I'd like to share my response on this blog. It deals with Google+, which still seems to be a confusing site that continues to get some attention.


Q: Tell me what you think of Google+ when you get a chance. I just started with it. 


A: As far as Google+ goes, I'm undecided. I think it's a tool launched by Google that is very self-serving. Prior to the launch of Google+, when I did a Google search of my name, my LinkedIn, Twitter, and Youtube videos came up first. Followed by a bunch of articles mentioning the social media sessions at Walsh College. 

Now when I do a google search of my name , my Google+ profile comes up first. And I've barely even used it. 

People will pay tons of money trying to optimize their webpages to get a #1 listing. It used to be that Google used an algorithm and would continuously change the rules about what they ranked as valid links. Those valid links in turn helped to determine organic search results. Now by being on Google+, my listing has changed. Since I have to play by their rules (i.e., Google is the #1 search engine), I can't deny the reason to be on Google+. But do I personally see any value in it yet? No. I see it as one more site I have to check. I'm most active on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and YouTube (probably in that order) and Google ranks 5th or 6th in priority for me after my blogs. Google+ seems too similar to Facebook and Twitter to me, with maybe a bit of LinkedIn thrown in. 

Readers: What do you think? 

Other marketing questions? Ask them here and I'll blog my response.

I Love My Job and You Should, Too

I know there are probably some people who will read this blog and think I'm crazy. I love my job. I'm proud to write that. Yes, I truly love it. And I think you should, too. 

Find a Job You Love.

I remember in college a professor told me that it's typical to have three careers after college. The first job you get is to have a job. The second job is to get out of your first job. And your third job is a job you love. 


Well, for me it took a few more jobs (I'm on job #5 now). Along the way I learned what I like to do, what I'm good at doing, and what others thought I could do. I also started gaining an understanding of the value of what I do, and how important that is in a career. 


I'm the Director of Marketing at Walsh College, where I was recently promoted from Marketing Manager. Now that may not sound like a big deal to you, but if you work in marketing, you probably understand that it IS a big deal! I remember reading a fictional career book many years ago in which the main character became the Director of Marketing for a hotel chain, and thinking at the time how cool it would be to be a Director of Marketing. 


I started as an Assistant Media Planner at an Ad Agency, then was promoted to Media Planner. Left after 2 1/2 years, and became Area Marketing Coordinator. Left at just under 2 years to become Marketing Coordinator. Laid off from there and became Marketing Specialist at another place, and shortly thereafter promoted to Marketing Manager. I then held the title of Marketing Manager for the past 7 years (wow... just realized that). Now I'll admit that when I first was promoted to Marketing Manager, I didn't feel like my job had changed at all, nor that I was really qualified for a "manager" title. But my manager saw a lot of potential in me (thank you, Keith Woodman!) and supported me in my career. 


I digress.


I love my job. I've been at Walsh for the past three years, and remember when I was interviewing how excited I was to finally find a position that gave me the opportunity to blend my expertise in marketing with my love of professional development. It really is a perfect match for me, and I can now see how all my previous experience has been perfect in preparing me for my current role. 


I love my job, and I think you should, too. Life is too short, and it's not going to get any better if you stay in a job you don't love. You should look forward to getting up in the morning and diving into your day. You should leave the office feeling like you've accomplished something, and the stress of your job should leave you feeling invigorated. Mine does that for me.


You should work for a manager who supports your personal and professional goals. You should work at a company that you believe in. Your company's mission should be your mission as well. You will be far more productive and happy in life if you are passionate about your career.


Now I know there are circumstances that are beyond our control, especially in today's economy. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't keep an eye on your goal, and focus on finding work that is in some small way related to that goal. If you want to work in sports marketing, blog about sports. If you want to be on FoodTV someday, find a culinary arts program and enroll. But if you are miserable in your current position and don't like the work that you do, please don't go find the same position with a different company. You'll find the same results.


I love my job. Do you?

9 Tips to Be a Superstar Speaker

Presenting to a group -- large or small -- can cause even the best of us to doubt our abilities and expertise. However, follow these simple tips and you'll be a more engaging, dynamic -- and perhaps even charismatic speaker. 

"Yes, you can have FUN and be professional," says Brenda Meller.

1. Don't apologize to your audience. We don't know that you had to condense your usual 60-minute presentation into 15 minutes, or that you typically use PowerPoint slides and are speaking off the cuff. Nor do we know that you were stuck in traffic or otherwise feeling rushed. Project confidence and poise. We like to see happy, confident speakers.
2. Speak on a topic that is related to, but not a direct part of your profession. This technique will captivate us because we feel that you are sharing your knowledge and not selling to us. Choose a topic that is near and dear to your heart. Your passion and enthusiasm will show. Plus you'll be more likely to get referrals for other speaking gigs.
3. Incorporate personal stories into your presentation. This helps us visualize your points, and makes your presentation more memorable.
4. Conversational presentations are better than lectures. Bring your audience into the presentation by using names from your audience, and encouraging Q&A at the end.
5. Remember to speak S-L-O-W-L-Y. You should strive to speak at a rate of speech that feels too slow if you were talking to someone one-on-one. It gives us time to process what you are saying.
6. Have fun! We, the audience, enjoy those speakers who look as if they are enjoying themselves. Yes, you can have fun and be professional. 
7. Handouts are helpful. Give us one sheet of paper with your key points. That way we can keep notes. Make sure you include your contact info on that sheet, including your Twitter name if you have one.
8. Before you begin, ask a few audience members to answer a question related to your topic. this helps with #4.
9. Using notes is okay, but please don't read your presentation. You know your stuff! Trust me, you do. If you don't know your stuff, you should rehearse it thoroughly until you do, or pick another topic. 

I love free stuff

Every year, I remind myself I'm going to get better at this. I think it starts with a reminder from a friend to get my free coffee from Starbucks. And then a conversation with my husband about where we're going for dinner, and which restaurant offered me a FREE meal. 

"I love free finding free stuff for my birthday," Brenda Meller

And then suddenly my big day has come and gone, and I'm lucky if I remembered any places that offer me something free for my birthday. 

I will say that the internet has made my work so much easier. And Facebook has, too. In fact, there's a blogger by the name of Free Is My Life who blogs exclusively on stuff you can get free around metro Detroit. 

Thanks to all these resources, so far I have enjoyed (and spent):

1. A free premium chocolate shake from Del Taco (spent $10 for dinner for my family)



"Thanks, Del Taco!"

2. A free Rooty Tooty Fresh n Fruity breakfast from IHOP (spent $12 for breakfast for my family)

Yes, I've gotten about $10 worth of free stuff so far, but I've spent more than double that. So it's been a great deal for me and I've helped out our economy, too. 

"Rooty Tooty!" ~Brenda Meller, the birthday girl

Sure, there's a cost to give away free goods and services. But each of these businesses has gained something, too. Not to mention that I have only visited IHOP once in the past 10 years, and this makes it twice. Now that I've been there again, I'm definitely going to tell all my family and friends about my meal (scrambled eggs, sausage links, bacon, and a side of pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped cream. I have a second coupon for joining their "Pancake Revolution" that will bring me back again!).

Many businesses allow you to use these deals anytime in your birthday month. My plan is to log every visit and tally up the totals.

If you're interested in signing up to score your own free deals, here are a few websites I recommend:

• Hey It's Free: http://www.heyitsfree.net/birthday-freebies/
• Frugal Living: http://frugalliving.about.com/od/eatforfree/tp/Eat_Free_On_Birthday.htm
• Free Is My Life: http://www.freeismylife.com/search/label/FREE%20ON%20YOUR%20BIRTHDAY

Do you have a "must redeem" birthday freebie? If so, share it here